I’m befuddled by the fact that I honestly can’t remember what it’s like to have a normal day.
Wake up to a normal atmosphere. Hearing normal sounds. Breathing at a normal pace. Lay eyes on normal scenery. Thinking normal thoughts. Deciding on normal decisions. Eating normal food. Looking forward to normal things. Not looking forward to other normal things.
Why is everything so intensified inside of me? I want it to stop. I want to be able to live freely in my own bubble.
I can’t remember not having to struggle just to get myself through a day.
— The Rolling Stones
What would someone who is depressed do?
Would you step away from the limelight so that your negativity would not affect your loved ones?
Would you do the exact opposite of going towards them with your emotional baggage, hoping that it would heal?
Would you live your life as quiet as you can, in hopes that no one would notice or would you turn up the volume and shout out for help?
How can you fight it?
Or rather, how can you fight yourself?
How I wish I wasn’t the person I am today.
Getting too close to the edge.
Right around the corner, I can feel that I’m reaching the edge. I feel less balance, I feel colder than usual. Though, I’m calm. I know there is an impending doom that awaits me but I have thoroughly accepted that there is no reason to panic.
What I usually take head on, passes through me like a wave. Insensitivity. Hostility. Animosity. Anger. Fear. Depression.
I’m an honest chap and honestly, I’m too tired to fight the pain.
Life is a paradox. I’m here to embrace. It hurts, but it hurts less when you’re not trying as much. Sad truth.